Time Travel

Someone told me that there was a man in the world who was trying to visit all the Starbucks in existence. His goal was to drink a delicious coffee drink at every single location in a certain amount of time. If you have more information about this man or why on earth he wanted to do such a thing, let me know.
Anyhow, I’m sitting here in a Starbucks currently, and I have just finished enjoying a triple grande latte, which is Starbuxian for Strong Coffee with Milk, and the amount of giddy-up I have from this one drink is enough for me to pull-start a small building. The other added bonus is increased "regularity" which, so long as I’m not too detailed about it, makes regular "regularity" look and feel like regular "constipation."
If I were to visit all the Starbucks locations in Scottsdale alone, I can think of thirteen within a five-ten mile radius from my front door, enjoying an espresso and a short stop in the lavatory in each fine location, I think that by the time I was through I might be able to time-travel. And at that point, having achieved one of the coolest things there is to achieve, the only thing I would consider is going back in time to punch my own self in the face for even considering drinking thirteen shots of espresso in one day.
It’s possible that my future self has already done this and this was the cause of my recent and still mildly uncomfortable jaw dislocation.
Have I had this dream before? Am I dreaming now?
Have I thought these thoughts previously, acted on them and gone back in time to prevent myself from actually doing so?
Ah. That is a pickle.